met up with xifang today for shopping and in the end it turned out to be otherwise.

cause in the end i went for a job training.

yes job training at parklane shopping mall.

so there are 2 people who called me today to ask if i'm interested to work.

i accepted the first one who called for me to work for the coming 3 days.

I was told to make my way down to the office for an hour of training.

Okay, it's just a training but i was feeling real scared.

I don't know why, but that's how i always feel.

The word "interview" and "presentation" never fail to scare me.

Whenever I hear these 2 words, I'll faint.

I've never like having a presentation or even interview cause i'll be super nervous.

Which I could still remember the supposed presentation i had when i was in secondary 2.

It was a class activity in which everyone had to participate in.

I was so nervous that I started laughing and laughing, in the end i started crying. :S

I know it sounds super retarded and stupid but I just couldnt help it.

And now i realised the word "training" isn't as nice after today.

Not that I've cried today, it's just that the training was real scary.

okay maybe not. but to me YES.

I stepped into the ulu office like an idiot.

Then I was led into a room and handed with 2 flyers which I was supposed to read.

Those flyers were filled with information, they are things which i would never want to memorise.

That person left me in the room and got me to read through.

First she's an indian and she has some kind of accent when she speaks which i could hardly understand.

Not that i'm being racist. It's just that it added on to my stress. :/

She tested me on those things which I could not absorb at all.

Before the 2nd round of "test", she asked if i was feeling comfortable.

I swear I was feeling SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE.

I also went crazy, that makes me feel that i'm stupid as i couldnt remember much of those information.

I think i'm over dependent on others which makes me feel uncomfortable in a new surrounding.

It's not that I've never work before but certainly i do feel useless.

Not just for this but maybe for other things too. Soon i may just fail in life.

I know i cant avoid what's happening but i'm trying hard.

In the end, I backed out for the job because I really cant push myself to talk to people like those businessman or whoever they are. It's super scary i swear!

I need to start to learn to be more independent and adapt to changes.

It's always difficult for me. :/

I hope tomorrow will be better and stop thinking so much! ( I cant help it.)

didnt have enough sleep today and yesterday.
watched drama till 3am and woke up with a puffy eyes.
cried too much. :S okay it's dumb to cry over shows.
but i'm too emotional.