sweet nothings.

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You made me (dis)believe in love, baby.

hey. navis are up there. *points at the top*.
Saw it? click whatever you want dearies! :D
Ending with the last 5 words; I love you crazily forever.

I hope the next time i see you, you'll be the one who say "hi" to me first.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009, 9:11 PM

The Bottom Line

Take some time today to remember all of the people, places and things that you miss.

In Detail

Your ambitions take you far forward in life, but have you ever stopped to think about what (or who) they may have forced you to leave behind? Take some time today to remember the people, places and things that you miss. It won't be unpleasant -- you'll love reminiscing about the old days. You will get a fresh new perspective on where your life is at now. If you feel the urge to visit those long-lost places or people, put a plan together to do just that.

.
indeed i'm missing some ppl, some places and many things.
but i do not have enough time for me to think or even go to these places and ppl.
sch work is piling up, keeping me busy and stopping me from having the time to think.
today was a super long day for me.
reaching sch at 720 in the morning for econs make up "lecture", due to my class being chased out of the lecture hall ytd. alright, it's a long story and i'm a bit lazy to talk abt it. sch ended off at 140 today, but adding on i still have phy extra lesson from 210-310, phy SPA assessment 310-410, GP makeup lesson 410-510, chem mock SPA 550-650. having just few 2 half an hr break in between which i used it to study for the SPA. phy SPA was a bit screwed since i dun really study for it. i tried studying but my mind just go blank every instant. it just refused to register things in, got so worried that i will mess things up. after finishing it i feel much better as the so called tough thing is over.
sch will end late everyday for this whole week. and i haven been getting enough rest ever since last week. i wonder how much longer can i hold on. maybe one day i will just break down. u never know.
things are still alright, except for the part that i'm still a bit lost in class after missing so much lessons. as usual i'm still day-dreaming or drifting off to my dreamland in btw of lesson. not that i wan to, but sometimes it's uncontrollable.
somehow somewhat i'm still so not used to it.
things that happened last week it's still like a dream to me.
idk when will i wake up from it. cos i'm still thinking that ahgong is still arnd and at grandma's hse. except for the fact that i'm not there everyday and i will think that it's bcos of me not having enough time to visit him so i dun see him. but he's actually gone forever. though i know it's not true that he's still arnd but my mind my heart still refused to accept the face that he's gone. maybe till the day i really get better, then i will accept the face that he's gone. still feeling as terrible, it's just bcos of those sch work i'm having that hides my emotion deep down. not having the time to think with all the sch work keeping be so busy. tests everyday and i could hardly get myself some rest. i wonder is it good or bad. maybe it is good in the sense that i will not be thinking too much and feeling too sad abt it. but well, if i were to get some rest maybe my mind will start thinking abt many things.
i may be smiling and laughing like as though nth had happened but in fact behind all these laughter there will still be some sorrows in it, just that they are not being expressed out. but still thanks to those ppl arnd me who kept me going and laughing. i appreciate it. (:
however i will still like to apologise, just in case at times i might just flare up or even be quiet. this is bcos i wish to be alone.
all i could rmb was ahgong told me not to be scared. i guess that was the only time i heard him that clearly. thereafter, he was alr kinda of blur that whenever is speak to him he will just respond me in ways that i cant really uds.
i always thought he will recover but i was so wrong. during new yr eve he could still stand and move abt. on new yr he was still able to eat a lil love letters but slowly, he started eating v v lil, unable to walk, unable to stand, unable to get out of bed, unable to slp well, unable to talk clearly, he started to cry whenever he wants to talk. when he cries i will start tearing too. and soon, he stopped crying cos he was alr v sick that he was kind of unconscious but i think more of semi-conscious. ahmah and all told me the day before he left he was still able to say bye to the relatives who came to visit him. and that was on sat. then on sun, aunt came to visit him and left quite early, he was still able to speak and asked my aunt to be there to visit him the next morning earlier. until when i reached there arnd afternoon 2plus. he started feeling unwell, having fever and all. refused to drink water. and i called him, but i doubt he really heard me. since his eyes was closed half the time. initially, i thot there was nth much. and slowly many relatives came to visit him.and it was so rare for these few to be coming. but no one really expected that that day was the last day we get to see him. :/ is it bcos he was alr happy enough for them to visit him and decided to left.? everyone was asking why didnt we send him to hosp, but ahmah was right to make the point that it's was alr too late when he's alr so sick and there's not point in sending him in since we were told that his life was up.
that night i just got so scared and helpless. not knowing wad to do but keep watching over him when possible. sis and i cried even before he left. we were so scared and afraid that he will go, cos we never expect such things to be happening. the more uncle said that ahgong is waiting for sis before he's gng the more worried i got, i'm afraid that the moment sis come hm he will just leave. somehow i always thought that those scenes in the drama would never happen in real life, but some of it is true for life and it still applies. sometimes i choose not to believe but well now i have to believe it and start accepting it. but i still need a v v long time.

only till you lost it then you will know it's too late.
losing it make you realise it's importance.