sweet nothings.

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You made me (dis)believe in love, baby.

hey. navis are up there. *points at the top*.
Saw it? click whatever you want dearies! :D
Ending with the last 5 words; I love you crazily forever.

I hope the next time i see you, you'll be the one who say "hi" to me first.

Sunday, January 18, 2009, 12:41 AM

i could hardly breathe.
everything just happened so sudden that i cant even handle it.
well, i had started sch for a week and everything were quite smooth just except for somethings.
and i thot i had already had a hectic week, things begin to happen. so many many unexpected things. i'm just at a lost of words but just thinking and thinking all day long. sometimes i just hope i do not have to be bothered by all these things but i simply cant. :/

fri wasnt a good day, and i supposed it was gng to be ~~good~~ but things went the other way rnd. ):
received msg from sis telling me that granduncle passed away, at that point of time i just lost my words. thoughts kept gng thru my mind, thinking thru a lot of things. that reminds me of gng to see him on last sun. he looked rather pale and skinny, and he was gng to have operation on the following day so he wasn't allow to have any food. i could still rmb how reluctant i was when i was asked to go visit him in the hosp. no matter how reluctant i was, i still dragged myself down to the hosp to visit him. the amt of work i'm having is making so stressed and frustrated that i started to show attitude to ppl around me. for now, i felt relieved that i actually made my way down last sun, or else i will regret, and regret forever for being so selfish. i'm actually not as nice as you ppl think. really. i only treated my friends nice as compared to my family. i always feel that i'm being forced to do things and i got so annoyed that i can just throw tantrum whenever i feel like doing so. for the past few days, sch work was packing up that i could hardly have time to think abt other things and now again i'm back to thinking abt things again. so when i dun talk means i'm thinking, maybe good things maybe bad things. idk.

ytd went to celebrate carol's bday, initially i din wanted to go cos i thot it wasnt good for me to be enjoying while the rest were busy with things. i mean not like i'm not busy but just that i dun feel right. but in the end, i went to celebrate too. maybe it was just a time for me to take my mind off for a break from not thinking so much but well i still didnt stop thinking. initially i was supposed to be meeting them at 1pm but i still have some things to handle so met them after that. i wasnt really sad in the first place but seeing everyone arnd me crying esp my ahmah i couldnt help it that i started to tear too. ):

i know ahmah's heart must be aching alot. there are also a lot of things which she has to look into since ahgong had been ill for so long. ahgong started questioning alot. asking abt why everyone suddenly appeared at our hse, asking why we kept gng to hosp to visit granduncle and when he said he wants to be hospitalized grandma said it's difficult for us to be there. that night when dad was back hm he told me how granduncle looked when he was dead and upon hearing it, it really upset me. ytd we had a last look of him and the look just kept refreshing in my mind. he just looked so skinny, and i'm still feeling v bad, bcos i think i din really treated him well when he was arnd. ): i'm feeling sorry abt it, so i thot i shld really start to be nice to my family.
talking abt ytd, we went to town to sing then off to ps for dinner. dinner till 10plus. reaching hm at 11plus near 12. by them i was already too drained for anything. received called from dad asking me to wake up at 6am. i got so zzz so i suddenly popped up at 4am again. i was already v tired but i just cant slp well. had been frowning the whole day and i tried to relax but it just came back again. the 2 eyebrow of mine just seems to be like a magnet that keep attracting each other tgt. need some scotch tape to tape it down. head is feeling rather heavy these few days and i hope that i can be totally worn out some day this week and skipped sch though i know it's not a good idea. but i'm really in need of rest. if u ppl see me frowning pls ask me not to, cos it's ugly.
alright i really have to start rushing my work or else i will be super dead tmr. :/
sadded. alright i shall really start getting to the life of being alone. when i get some photos then i shall upload it then. i getting more and more tense up and i thnk it's not a good sign, shall think of ways to relax myself soon. hopefully things would just starts to get better as time goes by. just only the start of the yr and everything is alr like so complicated.